ennea-what?

scones in the oven, I'm baking because I really should be focusing on the last preparations for teaching a workshop on the Enneagram next week.  But...scones first.  Hmmm, does this have anything to do with my Enneagram number?
It's funny how everything becomes about your number...how did I live before I knew my number? seriously?

But actually, I did...and so what's all the to do about the enneagram? Why has it become so popular in these last few years when it's really nothing new...I mean Riso published a book on the Enneagram in 1987.  Why didn't it make it big then? What is it about this ancient personality tool that is helping writers become names we now know and thus selling some (lots) books?  (Geez, I wish I had known about the Enneagram 5 years ago so I could've written a book and gotten in on the money! :-). 

And will it survive 5 more years? Or will it become a passing fad...we all know our numbers, moving on...

I'm not really sure.  But I do know that right now there's a B.N. (before I knew my number) and an A.N. (after I discovered my number). and even more--there's a right now as I get to decide what to do with knowing my number.

Sometimes it would be nice to be blind again (B.N.).  Blind to my weaknesses, blind to what I know now and can't deny.  It would be nice if my husband didn't know my number so that he couldn't remind me now and then (yes, gently, because he's a 9!) of how I'm falling into my disintegration paths....of course, as a 9, he does have anger issues that he's unaware of...but I digress (or is that my path of disintegration...?)

Oh, I forgot to mention to you that I'm a 4.  (We're quite original and unique you know...or actually my growth path is discovering I'm ordinary and special just like everyone else...ugh).  But if you're still pre-enneagram (and even bothering to read this post) then you might be wondering what does it mean to be a 4? Are you square? And 9? how many numbers are there anyway in this ennea--thingy.  (Well, there's 9...because duh...Ennea means 9! Ummm, well, I actually didn't know that either until recently...).  So well, you, are something between a 1 and a 9.  Because that's how it is.  No zeros.  No tens.  Though you might think you're a 10.  

But you know, as I sit with the enneagram, I am continuing to find new aha moments with it! I think that's what draws you in (at least for those of us who have been drawn in)...I knew my Myers Briggs letters in college...but I didn't really know what to do with those letters.  I mean I knew that being an "I" meant introvert.  But then sometimes I don't like the assumptions made about an introvert.  I mean being an introvert doesn't mean being antisocial!!  So sometimes we find things out about ourselves, and then feel labeled and boxed in...

But the enneagram is a circle.  And it moves.  You may be a number, but then you have these arrows pointing towards growth (and also towards stress and disintegration!)

There's potential! There's hope! You are not merely a number.  You're actually a complex variety of numbers.  Because, did I mention, you have wings?!!! No, these wings don't mean you fly, but if you look at your number and put your arms out to your sides (like a chicken) then you'll discover that those 2 numbers sitting on each side of you are rubbing off on your number.  You probably lean more towards one than the other, but you are not 100% your number.  You are a complex mixture of your number, and one (or both) of your wings.  (And just so you know I happen to be a 4 wing 5). And we haven't even gotten to subtypes yet...

Are you feeling lost? Don't worry...the enneagram points you towards home.  Yes! It's a tool of discovering how you're lost! isn't that exciting! I bet you didn't even know you were lost until the Enneagram told you that finding your number helps you know how you are lost, and gives you a handy map to find your way back home...home to where? Not Kansas...though Dorothy could have been talking about the Enneagram (Chris Heuertz in Sacred Enneagram talks a lot about Dorothy's enneagram journey towards finding her way home to her true self...which happened to be in Kansas...sort of).

So now that I've thoroughly confused you--or helped you discover you're lost--especially if you have never heard of the enneagram...then may I suggest that you take a test? Yes, you can take a test online to see what number you are...because I'm sure you're dying to know if you're a 1, 2, or a 5.  And what is your spouse? And what is your boss? Your co-workers....

BUT WAIT A MINUTE!!!!
CAUTION:  Because you actually aren't supposed to learn your number so that you go around saying "Hi, I'm a 5 what are you?" (because that's being a wise guy!)  AND beware of someone saying to you, "OH, you are such an 8!" And you are left wondering "well, isn't that great?"

So...approach the Enneagram with caution.  It's sacred you know (because you and I are sacred!). You might love what you find, and you might hate it.  At first it might feel like you're meeting yourself, and then you might think "I really didn't want to know this part of me."  And you might really find yourself thinking "I was ok being lost..." and leave your number in the bin...or on the shelf in the book.

It's funny how ancient tools that carry wisdom get discovered and the dust blown off...and we run to it thirsty for what it has to offer.  I know the writers who have managed to get their books published appreciate our discovery.  Really, they sincerely want you to know yourself and find your way home.

But I'm sure they don't mind the fact that it's enabling them to have a nicer home...

But they might be an unhealthy 3 if that's the case (oh yeah, there's heathy and there's unhealthy...but no, you don't need a doctor, just an enneagram coach...)

BUT before my 3 friends out there remind me that I'm labeling them, I am just stressing the need for authenticity...  Ummm, ok...actually 4s really need their 3 friends, and their 7 friends, and all the numbers actually.  Because we need each other!!

And I love my 3 friends.  They are really really good for me as a melancholy 4.

But sadly my 3 friends don't really understand me and probably never will--sadly! but they're good at making me feel like I'm pretty cool when I sit with them for coffee.

If you want to have some enneagram fun

Never Fear! (especially if you're a 6!)-- It's available ennea-time that you are ready to explore
(did I just see you roll your eyes at me?)

And you can come join me around the circle

As we learn to live in community with one another

because let's not stick in our stubborn chairs with backs to one another

Let's see the beauty of how the enneagram is a circle

Arrows pointing here and there

Teaching us compassion

humility

and giving us a map to find our way home

to our true self
but for now I'm in my kitchen
waiting for some scones
yum.