what story lines do you believe that are not true, and yet they feel true? what do you believe about yourself that is hurting you, holding you back from freedom in your life? what have you clung to because it feels safer to believe it than to challenge it?
anytime we put a label on someone, we are defining the title of their story. we are telling them "you are..." and these can be either positive or negative. yet, when we label someone by a single characteristic we limit them for good or bad. and even if we have good intentions "you are so young and beautiful" we are telling them "don't get old or ugly, because your value lies in the fact that you are so young and beautiful." we don't mean to define people. we don't mean to trap people by the labels we put on them (well, sometimes we do...just not always). but when we define people by only parts of their person, we limit people. they forget the whole of who they are. you and I have forgotten who we are. and we must be reminded time and again who we really are. the problem is, who knows who we really are? who can remind us in our amnesia supported by a culture that loves to define us by parts of our self?
I often have been defined by adjectives like "serious, good listener, smart, wise, nice, kind, good..." those are the positive labels that have defined my story line about myself. but then there are the less positive labels--"anxious, fearful, worrier, dull, plain, serious..." whether you agree with these doesn't really matter, because it's what we believe about ourself that is ultimately what defines how we live. how we relate to others. how we go about our lives. so sure, you can tell me something nice to try and change my negative self-perceptions, but if I don't believe you then I will probably smile kindly and just say internally "whatever...if you only knew this about me..." or I might say "you have to say that, you're my friend/mom/husband."
so how do we change our story-lines about ourselves? we have to get to know who we really are. we have to look in a mirror that shows us our true self. the mirror that doesn't show us the masked self. the mirror that has no cultural biases, no perception of what we should be. just the mirror that sees the inner created person we are. and I will add that no one will want to look in this mirror unless we know that this mirror is held by a loving Creator. I sure don't want to look in a mirror that is out to tear me down, hurt me, shame me, point fingers at me...
but a mirror held by the One who loves me? ok, I will dare to look in that mirror. yes, a mirror that says "I see your belovedness when I look at you." a mirror that says "you are loved. you are beautiful. you are enough. you are mine." that is the mirror of truth that will change our story-lines. that is the mirror that challenges our labels and beliefs that hold us back, keep us down, oppress us, shame us.
I want to look in this mirror. I want to see myself in this light. but I cannot look in this mirror without being changed. each time I dare to look at myself the way this mirror sees me, I will not be able to continue to believe the old story-lines that I have somehow adopted. I will be forced to challenge those beliefs that say "I'm not quite enough. I am too plain. there is something wrong with me. I can't let others know the true me..."
sometimes it feels safer to keep on believing our story-lines. we have found safety and comfort in the voices of people who have defined us. to challenge these story-lines feels uncomfortable. what will I do if I start believing I am loved? how could I go on living this life if I knew I am more than I have believed?
and so we go on living in what has become our safe cage. forgetting how to fly. forgetting who we are. not knowing what lies beyond. not daring to look at the horizon, wondering what might be inviting us to more.
but friend, i would like to encourage you to dare to glimpse into the mirror that is held by one who loves you. one who knows you. one who longs to sing a song over you, to you. friend, may I help hold the mirror for you, as I, too, dare to glimpse in it for myself?
love is waiting.
