“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family." (the Message)
Where does peace start? This morning my boys started fighting because the older one coughed on the younger one. And then the younger one had to cough on the older one's face. And then they started resorting to rude tones and words. As a parent it's easy to get swept up into the tidal wave of anger and use anger to "stop" the fighting. The parent chimes in "Stop fighting!" And if you are anything like me, your tone gets louder and angrier as you repeat requests to stop. (I have to admit that I have resembled a three year old in my parenting many times!) Now everyone is angry. And where will the peace come from? Force? "Say your sorry right now!!!"
In an effort to not step into the anger ring this morning I tried many different tactics (a bit of an experiment I guess) to see if I could model peacemaking. Not because I'm that good, but because the verse "Blessed are the peacemakers..." (Matthew 5:9) popped into my head this morning like a breath prayer. I wanted to see if the cycle of anger could be broken with the work of peacemaking. But let me tell you, it was hard work to try to be a peacemaker. My youngest was having none of it. He avoided looking at me when I resorted to dancing to Enya around the living room. Yes, I thought dancing to Enya might bring us some peace through humor and lightheartedness. But his protests continued "he started it! he coughed on my face!" I had made a comment that they each say something nice to each other before we left for school. "He hasn't said anything nice to me yet. I hate him!" Yep, those were the words we were hearing thrown like missiles in our home this morning, while Enya played her sweet songs in the backdrop. Whew. It was hard not to respond with hot angry words. Wouldn't it have been justified? Sure. But anger on top of anger...that is where war comes. Our world has plenty of that. How can I teach my boys to be peacemakers?
“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family." (the Message)
In the end we invited our older son to say something nice to his younger brother even though it was hard. Even though there was no reason to choose to be nice to someone saying rude things like "I hate him!" Even though everyone observing would say that the younger brother doesn't deserve any nice things said to him. I shared that it takes courage and strength to be a peacemaker. It's hard work to stop the cycle of anger...to spread peace. Peace is easy when we are all singing kumbaya together around the fire. It feels warm and fuzzy. But to actively bring peace out into the hostile world...that is a courageous and hard thing to do.
Pete and I stood back and continued making lunches, and then I watched as the older one made his way over to the younger "I'm glad that you are a part of the family." Wow, such a hard thing to say when the younger one has been saying such awful things like "I hate you." I was in awe. Could I have done that if it had been me in his shoes? There have been plenty of times when I have not had the courage or desire to say anything nice to Pete. I want him to say something nice first.
The room was quiet. The younger one sat quietly. Nothing. No response. Just quiet. No more anger missiles. Nothing. As I watched I thought about how God made peace with us (and continues to do so). I am like the younger son. Angry, and justified in my anger. But peace interrupts the anger. It doesn't wait for the anger to subside. It actively pierces through the anger, it abruptly comes in. God extends peace to each of us even though we really don't deserve it. He doesn't wait until I come to my senses before he acts. Without intentional peacemakers in our world we will never know peace.
Peace takes courage. It is hard work. And that is why they are called blessed!
Peace.
