seeing beauty in the mundane

We've been back in the states for just over a month now. The time has been sweet, but I think the bitter will come when we have to say good-bye to our Florida friends once again...for another year. And so we are trying to savor and be as fully present to the goodness of people and places in Vero Beach while we have this time...but it's also quickly slipping by. Watching the grains of sand pass through the hour glass as we sink our toes into the sand on the beach. Hearing the waves crash and knowing in just a few weeks we will be looking at mountains instead. Stooping down to gather shells for a wind chime to hang on one of our salas in Chiang Mai, and aware that the clank of shells will remind us of what we have left behind.
It's a strange feeling to live in two worlds, and to love two places. And it's hard to know how to do that well. They're literally half the globe away from each other. Why did we decide to love Southeast Asia and not fall in love with somewhere closer--like Costa Rica? Why did we literally choose just about the farthest country from the USA to move our life to? Some things are inexplainable, and they just are our reality. Sometimes God and life have other ideas for us that we might not have rationally chosen for ourselves.

 and it's good.
    and it's hard.
      and it's beautiful.
         and it's messy.

We lived here for four years. And this visit has reminded me of all the wonderful things about life here that I miss.  I have truly enjoyed being here. I have reflected on how when time is limited, we really make the most of our time. But when we think we will be somewhere forever, we fail to really enjoy it--we take things and people for granted.  That is how I feel about life here.  I lived here four years and yet I failed to appreciate what I had. There are so many days that passed without me really living fully present and aware of the goodness all around me. Days that I didn't reach out to friends and even felt lonely. But now I feel there are barely enough days to see and be with everyone I love here.
It challenges me to consider how I am living in Chiang Mai. We won't be there forever. Perhaps we will be there two years or four years or maybe ten!!??!!. Who knows? But my brief time here in Florida has made me wonder how I can live more fully present to each day that I do have--to really enter into life and not take it for granted. I want to fully appreciate what Chiang Mai has, and not sit in my home feeling lonely or homesick for what I don't have. While there is no beach to walk and no shells to gather, what beauty will I find in Chiang Mai? I want to reenter this coming year with more intention to see the beauty...of Chiang Mai, and the people who have entered into our lives there.
While living in two places is hard, and my heart never quite feels fully whole in one place...there is a gift in this tension. It reminds me
to slow down and be present, to bend down and pick up shells that will become a wind chime on the other side of the globe. To express my deep appreciation in words and gestures to the people in my life here whom will never see my life over there. To let my heart open and love, knowing it will hurt when we say good-byes.
Beauty is a journey of learning to see more deeply, live more fully. And we see it because we have learned to notice it in the midst of the mundane daily life...
Where is beauty looking at you, waiting for you to notice its presence?